Maybe the heat simmered up, steamed away a peaceful
night. I'm not the only one to wake ill at ease. My uncertainty, I think,
originates in economics, though true lines of feeling are easily blurred. There
is a need for some uncertainty in life, lest one grow a skin too smug and die
of it. When the balance has over-tipped; either way; to right this: a two
pronged attack.
Firstly, make a list. Done: tick.
Secondly, stand in a river.
My old trainers are now my river shoes. Adidas, they
are. No name on the swimsuit. Clothes in a backpack wait on a rock ledge. Dog
leaps into the water, agitates mud, I can't see where to tread at all. A walk
of faith: waist deep, hands trailing under the reflective surface, twitching at
the sudden touch of weed, the unnerving quality of cold gloop.
'Okay, river,' the confession begins. 'I come to seek
balance and peace and acknowledge that this is something only I can find for
myself, within myself, so I don't know why being here helps but it does. I may
be grasping at proverbial straws, I may be heat affected. I don't know. Only
whatever lesson there is, I am willing to learn it.'
Dog brings me a stick, which is duly thrown, as per
the implied game of fetch. I wade on, shoulder deep now, in sight of the Oak
Dragon. A draft speeds over the water like the wooden idol has suddenly
exhaled. Two herons take to flight, I see their grey wings spread wide.
Herons: symbols of prosperity and self made renewal.
I throw Dog's stick. 'Today,' I suggest, 'shall we be
superstitious?'
One wet tail wags. I look up at the water birds.
Comments