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Showing posts from October, 2015

The Tough Trough Tragedy: Halloween 2015

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I knew that there was something wrong.
Why do we do that?
We know that something is wrong but don’t want to seem silly and somehow that is more important. We do things even when there is a voice in our head shouting not to do it: fear of looking foolish overrides self preservation.
I never knew till then just how strong that desire to fit in was.
I am not what other people would call conventional.
Got purple hair, a half sleeve tattoo of skulls and mermaids, a pierced lip.
Did I listen when people said not to dye my hair or get inked or pierced?
Clearly not.
Did I listen when my instincts told me something was horribly wrong here?
Clearly not.
I was lucky, in a way.
I survived, anyway.
But the others didn’t and that is impossible to forget.
I’m here, alive, but I’m stuck with those images for life.
I lost one finger and my peace of mind.
I suppose you want to hear about it.
Everyone does, like it was something awesome that happened.
It was different; I understand the novelty appeal, …

Lessons In Leaves

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Michaelmas is long gone and no one has told the blackberries up here. I wasn’t about to let on. Under stripes of cloud and sun, a fruit feast is plucked, is popped, piece by piece, in to a thirsty mouth. Cut stalks noisy under walking feet, fingers tinged purple; from fields to moors over the river, I spy out. I shall traverse this open ground, I announce, whilst the air holds dry.
But into the small woods we are drawn, Dog and I; her by scent and me by leaf.
Sometimes we see more, standing in shade.
Structures in bright relief.
Dog can easily follow the path as it tunnels under fern and bramble. I follow, stumble, trousers caught in thorny twine.

No less happy - this is adventure. This is story living, story making.
We become what we live, so we should live with care and abandon.
In the light, to stride, to acknowledge happiness.
In the shade, to know the light shines through.
To be of structural interest.

Leaves are falling, as we head home along our winding lane.
They land light…

It Is Beautiful

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In the polytunnel.
Draped in sun, I am sitting.
Contemplating on this, sitting, listening.
Absorption happens.
Bird chatter, scent of damped soil warming.
How the sun has dressed this lawn, in beaded rainbows.
Even Dog gives in to the bliss, lolls her head on the doorframe.

Yesterday was the first frost. The first new moon in the tenth month.
I had stood indoors, where the sun streamed in, where it poured through an old glass bottle-stopper; the facets of it spread a party of light on the wall.
I knew the physics of the trick and remained in thrall.
Everything is illusion, coloured by perception.
And lit, by design or accident, by this thrall.
From us, through us: it matters not. Absorb, and surrender to the trick. It is beautiful.


Owl's Answers

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Yesterday I walked in the small woods. Up the steep slips of fallen leaf.
Found myself under a dome of tree cover. Something about it caught my attention - the circularity, the floor of dark leaves, when the rest of the woods is strewn with fern and bramble.
There was only the sighs of autumn leaves to be heard, high above.
I raised my eyes, un-expectant, to where an owl was asleep.
Yellow eyes opened: we stared at each other.
I willed it to read my questions. I have much to ask. Time paused. Then the owl flew.
I clearly heard the brisk rustle of its feathers.
I had never before woken an owl.
I walked out of the cut field into redemptive rain.
Just before home, the rain stopped. Out of the hedge, two ripe strawberries were gathered.

In the night, bad dreams came. In the morning nothing factual remains, only the fear.
Had the owl answered my questions? I hoped not.
I went back to the small woods.

Today the sun shone, the owl was not at home. Dog sprang a deer out of the hedge.
A pai…

Roots And Twigs

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I just wanted to listen to the wind and the fat trunked ash.
The branches, leafless all spring, all summer; in autumn there is nothing to drop but weathered wood.
A tree surgeon is booked. A gap in the skyline is coming.
Ivy shimmies on the bare shoulders of our old giant. It stands where it has always stood, where once it was supple in the breezes that fly the length of this river valley. Solid seeming, patterned skeletal, neural, calmly falling to pieces.

Seasons turn. Change comes. Unplanted, we make our paths through obstacles, and according to which view we seek. The roots of people are moveable, nourished by dreams.
8th September 1925, Burnley, Lancashire: a girl is born, a first child. Her name is Ida.
Four more children follow her into this family. Through the 1930s where work and food are scare, she looks after this brood while her parents look for work. Things are shoeless, hungry. Two of her sisters take ill: they die.
1939: war brings opportunity. Ida joins the Women’s…