Daylight feels cold, the ground is frost crusted. Underground, into this chill murk, spring bulbs are stirring. All the seasons have their transformations of course, but this the time when people also look ahead and make plans and hope for change. Which is why I am also reflecting on the opposite, on why some people put effort into avoiding, why they prefer to fester... and these are my notes-
Because if you try, you might fail.
Because the work to change is difficult, it makes you tired, and you might fail.
Failure is the loss of what you could have been, over and over.
And there are some who would rather be a liar than a failure.
If you are not humble, and do not see a small life as a beautiful achievement, if you would rather pretend that this not-trying is a grand adventure, a thing beyond the ordinary, this is avoidance.
If a plain life seems beneath your ambitions, you don't feel the need to try: this is avoidance.
But you will be stuck and afraid and angry that we see you, that we pity you.
Beyond the ordinary is bullshit, poor thing. Inside the everyday is where the miracles live.
Inside the struggle to start again, again.
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