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We Are The Flow

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This week I was a stranded fish. Time and tasks rolled me onto the shore where I couldn't catch a calm breath; where everything is a struggle, and even though I know that overwhelm is part of this Bringing Dreams To Life process, it gets to me. No big problem has caused this, it's more that I lost focus and perspective after doing housework instead of writing, but I don't want to live in a disgusting mess all of the time.  If you've been following my year, you will probably know this pattern. You will know that I just need a minute, then I'm back to swimming and laughing. It is a pattern, it has a repeat.  So, dear Reader, where are you? In the flow, on the shore, caught in a current?  I am not so caught up that I don't think of you, I just forget to tell you that. But if you listen to the water, to the wind, to the shuffle of the sand, the twist of a leaf- here we all are. We are not isolated, not separated. We are the flow. We reach under the surf, under the d

Bunting And Butts

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14/5/22 Saturday I am at work. Hydrotherapy on a warm spring day leaves us relaxed like rag dolls. Washing is pegged and dried on the line. I had to add extra water to the lupin which appeared to have fainted. All the pots are well mulched but they dry out anyway. Luckily the maintenance is pleasing. I tell the plants how beautiful they are, and taste-test the mint. Mr is out at Paddock Garden cutting up felled trees and clearing nettles to make compost tea while Dog slumbers in the stable. 15/5/22 Sunday I peg washing on the line before leaving for work; as I start the car a light shower also begins. Goodbye washing, enjoy your second rinse! At work we have a mission of putting together some jubilee planters, so we scour the garden department at Homebase for red, white, and blue blooms. I have mixed feelings about the jubilee, partly because the world is on fire and that seems more important. I’m neither a royalist nor a hater. It was good to have a Queen when I was growing up, she w

Planting, Plans, Pants, And Perfection

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7/5/22 Saturday I am raring to be back to work shenanigans. Little Care Client has not been well though, so she is having a quiet sleepy day. We make do with a YouTube beach; the garden pots are watered, the window ajar, the washing machine rumbling. Mr is at Paddock Garden clearing the storm-felled ash, ready for track building times. As is usual, we are not sure when our contractor will appear. It's a little frustrating mixed with the excitement of surprise. 8/5/22 Sunday Coffee in bed, listening to birdsong, peering at weather forecasts. Watered the polytunnel which seems untenanted since last week’s pest control clearance. It will soon fill up: lulls and excess is how it rolls. My drive to work starts sunny; gathers mist from Bodmin onwards. My legs are cold but my dress has a bright floral print, my scarf is cobalt blue, my shoes are giraffe print and fun. At work I have shopping chores - batteries for the noisy toys little Care Client loves the best, and canes for her pea

The Week Of Clarke And Covid

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30/4/22 Saturday It’s not odd to wake up achy. Yesterday I was dragging and rolling logs, amongst other land tasks. I don’t feel right though, so I take a covid test before thinking about heading to work. The control line is bold red, the test line is barely visible but it’s not not there... message my coworker to pre-warn her that I might not be arriving, though the result may be erroneous. Wait one hour. Re-test. Both lines bold red. Mr’s test is negative, putting him on nurse duty. It feels wrong, at first, not to be off to work, but while I am sitting in bed reading up on the pros and cons of stone tracks; drainage issues in particular; the excitement of having a rest kicks in. Mr goes to the shops and comes home with a cream tea.  1/5/22 Sunday The last calendar month of spring begins with light rain, light grey sky, barely a breeze. The hedge birds have a lot to say; swallows swoop by the bedroom window so fast I see only a fork-tailed blur. Today I rest, I write. 2/5/22

Unusual Koalas

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23/4/22 Saturday Coffee and stretches start this day, then I go off to work and Mr readies himself to meet Contractor Thomas on the land, to talk tracks and flat areas for camping pitches. (This meeting has taken around 5 months to arrive, and that’s how it goes with land plans, folks.) Hydrotherapy sessions have restarted, so to keep our care client entertained but not tired prior to this we have set up disco lights to play over her mat where she sits with her toys. It’s a cool clouded day and we are all disco-dappled and listening to birdsong on YouTube. 24/4/22 Sunday Rain, moderate, mostly over Bodmin Moor. Our care client is tired from her hydrotherapy yesterday, she plays on her mat in between snoozes. We have lakeside and beach scenes courtesy of YouTube; she loves the sounds of nature, I love pretending to be on a writing retreat. Get writing done in short bursts. It is not easy to world build in break times like this, but we edge through it. I type ‘we’ here because Care Clien

Easter Harvest

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16/4/22 Saturday Wake achy. Scrabble for coffee, ponder irrigation, set off for work, making a detour for chicken sitting. I also check and water the pots in Middle Daughter's little polytunnel- trays and trays of greenery; beanstalks twisting, carrot leaves flickering, reptilian, ready to bask. Continue on my journey - there is blossom and new leaves on hedgeway trees, growing bit by bit, like watching a tapestry embroider itself. 17/4/22 Easter Sunday Mr is off to Exmouth for family time, I am off to work, via a bit of chicken company. They had laid me 4 eggs so clearly felt justified in hassling me for grain. The cows next door leaned over the fence to lick my hands. At work (after washing my hands) we took a stroll along the dunes at Par, amongst rose bushes and seabuckthorn and mist. 18/4/22 Monday At work. Tired. Struggle to keep awake driving home. 19/4/22 Tuesday Feels like I have slept for a million years- it’s half past six. Close my eyes for more. Coffee arrives. Dog fel

Worth Every Ache

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9/4/22 Saturday Overnight a frost had lain down on our lawn, nestled to the edges. Sun rose unobstructed, warmed the ice to water, gave it little rainbows to wear. At work, I walked to Bethel Tesco to discover they do not have ink cartridge recycling envelopes anymore. They advised that I try the post office- also nope, but the post box had a yarn-bomb bunny on it, and the sun was warm, and everything was cheerful. 10/4/22 Sunday A frost, a pair of coffee cups, a lecture on agroforestry: we start the day right. Browse trees for a while, then up and on with daily stuff like raking out the fire ash and going to work. 11/4/22 Monday Morning: wild wind kicking through the garden. Put my pots in sheltered spots. Drive to work slowly because fuel is expensive, many high-sided vehicles also going slow for safety reasons, roads are busy due to Easter hols, definite convoy vibe.  Outside the air is fresh, bright, summer seems possible, another frost also possible- mischievous weather. 12/4/22